Bright and happy day.

Hey you guys, this is Mr Brown sleeping soundly, 2 days post surgery.

He is happy, gaining weight, biting everything he can get hold off,

climbing up the stairs.

 (once when we were all out except my sister- she had gone up stairs to rest, he climbed all the way up and knocked my sister's door just so that he can be with her )

He is super active. angry and frustrated sometimes,

(maybe he tries so hard but the pee just won't come out through his penis)

Nontheless, he is lovable, worth all my time and love.

I am so glad he is alright, and healthy.

He still can't pee normally, an artificial passage was made.

If he has to live like that, so be it.

I will be mopping floors 3 times a day all day everyday.

Because he is worth it.

Thank you all for your prayers.

Have a beautiful day.

Puppy Love

I haven't slept in a long long time. Having to care for a sick puppy is full time exhausting.

I am not complaining, i would love to care for him, but mostly i am worried. i would love not to worry.

Well i cannot don't worry. Everyone around me is telling me he's going to be ok, he will be healed.

But you know what, he is not ok, until today he is not healed yet.

I don't understand why people keep saying that... is it to deceive ones-self? 

I am not a pessimist, i just really feel that we should consider ALL the possibilities before telling ourselves it's ok, because by doing so, you are actually preparing yourself for what is able to take place, both good and bad.

My heart just sinks when i see him lying down all sickly.

Heart-sick is the name. Whenever i see him, not being able to do things that other puppy at his age should be 

doing just breaks me. It just breaks me, he is so innocent and full of love.

It really hits me sometimes, how they are so simple and how their love is unconditional for those who love and care for them in the first place. It is really a lesson for me to learn. A few lessons in fact.

At such a tender age, he has shown me tremendous strength, his never give-up attitude puts me to shame.

He never once made a sound when he is in pain.

p/s ; he just came back from the vet, he still can't pee through his penis, so a artificial passage is made, until the urethra is healed ( *hopes* ) . He is resting right now. I am sorry about all my puppy posts, it is all i can think off. Thank you all for your prayers. I really appreciate them, so does Mr. Brown.

I hope you all have a lovely lovely day. Last night i stayed up the whole night watching him. Today, i am exhausted but i am very happy and my worries are at level 1. =) 

Till then you guys.

Please pray for my dear Mr. Brown.
Another surgery tomorrow. Now, he is just lying motionless on the floor.
So much discomfort he is going through.

Please take a moment to pray. Thank you all so much.

Dull dull days.

I just had a paper yesterday and rushed back to be with Mr. Brown.
He is much better for now, with a tube hanging out of his bladder.
This weekend, we will be at the vet again, to see if he has fully healed.

I pray and hope that he will be.
Sorry for the absence, i don't have the time, or the mood to write
anything these days. Maybe when Mr. Brown is truly healed.

Take care you guys.

My love, please get well.

I broke down when i saw him on the operating theater-seeing all his insides was not 


comforting at all, the doctor tried her best but still couldn't locate the puncture in the 


urethra, so his bladder was puncture for his excretion.

The next 24 hours is crucial, please pray for his urea, potassium and keratin level to drop.


This picture just breaks my heart.

A Moment.

Yesterday i got to know that my puppy was knocked down.
He is seriously ill and i am really afraid he wouldn't make it,
not because he is weak, in fact he is a real fighter, but because
medical reports and scan cannot detect what is wrong with him.

It is visibly clear that he is in pain, doctors are trying but nothing is
changing. He is a fighter, throughout the whole night, all he was doing
was trying to pee, but simply couldn't - and i am worried he might die
of intoxication. He tries with all his might to pee, but nothing... when he has
done trying, he drinks water and go back to sleep.. only to repeat this cycle
the whole night long.

His strength and will amazes me, because he is a puppy. Just a puppy.
He just looks tired, bloated and swelled, uncomfortable, in pain,
and he is trying really hard. His 2 back legs are really weak,
yet he tries to wag his tail for us.

Please, take a moment to say a prayer for him.
If he has to go, he has to go. But if there is the slightest chance he can be
cured and recover, so much the better.

I feel really bad leaving him at the vet. I'm anxiously waiting for the vet's call.
My home is quiet and gloomy, everyone is worried about him. And for the first time
i saw my mom&dad cried, because it is simply too heart-wrenching to see him struggling.

Please send your love to Mr. Brown.

Mr. Brown got knocked down.

I came home today, hoping he would run to me and greet me.
It happened yesterday, my family didn't want to tell me, because they know i would break.
Today's paper suck and it was really bad.
But nothing is as bad as seeing my pup sick, and in pain, and he lost weight.
He can't even stand and walk.

I am very very sad.

Please get well and play with me soon Mr. Brown.
I Love You.

Golden Monday.

Blues never even made it through the window today. I had a paper earlier in the morning, it was (g**d) {i have to refrain from talking about it. Know more about it here. }, but i almost didn't have enough time.. so much to be done and drawn in that tiny interval of 2 hours.

Anyways, i am feeling awesome today ( Aha... wait till tomorrow, the paper is going to be a killa - just know it).So whats up peeps? I had no internet line for 2 days, i think it's because of the massive rainy weather... I think God secretly made it that way so i could study and not check on my mail, or rant away on my blog page.. hahaha.

Today i feel rejuvenated although i am really, really exhausted from all the mugging. I feel relieved and i feel ready to take on my next chapter of life. Well, it took me long enough to know that i have out-grown the people around me, sometimes i just feel a little dump to lower myself down so that i can accommodate to their level of maturity, thoughts and emotions. So i gave myself an ultimatum, it is either that i climb up or remain stagnant - so i could feel safe.

Yeah, there you go, i said it. I want to feel safe, in my circle and i didn't want to step outside my comfort zone, because stepping outside will mean that i have to start all over again, from the scratch - and i am scared.
It will mean that i will be alone, having no one to laugh with me at my lame jokes, no one to share my cheesecake with, nobody to flaunt my newly bought dress or my super high heels to, and no one to be a baby with when i am down with a flu, no one to share my sadness and most importantly, my happiness and the abundance love i have in me.

I was so overwhelmed with emotions - like as if a ball is stuck at my throat,choking me. I realized that i have to find my own happiness.So I dug up my courage and choose to move on, well i need a whole lot of strength to overcome this hurdle, it won't be easy i know and i will need heaps of encouragement and love from those who love me, and of course from God. Today, i will value myself enough to let go of the feelings that are holding me back from becoming who i might have been and proceed forward with courage.

Isn't life all about reconstruction? I am fixing myself, piece by piece.
And i am so glad, because i know one day i will look back and will be thankful and grateful that i choose to evolve and grow.

"When I let go of what I am,

I become what I might be.

When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need."

-The Tao Te Ching

Mr. Brown sends his unconditional love:

My fur ball.

May you all have a lovely,lovely Monday. Sadness is all around but happiness is just ahead of me.
Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Why Don't You?

Go outside

and 

kiss the rain.

On the other side.

I am stressed ok! and i really miss my puppy. All i can think about is him, everytime i take a break i look at his pictures and i was tossing and turning last night, i spend ONE whole hour thinking about him.
Talk about OBSESSION!!

I can't take it, being away from him. I know it sounds like its too much, but i really can't take it anymore.
I spoke him over the phone, and my sister said he came nearer to the phone and started making whinny noises.
My sister says that he waits for me everyday at the door, to play with him. I can't even imagine his pretty 10 cents puppy face.

Friday,Friday,Friday

Hey it's Friday!! But i have to continue studying throughout the weekend, back to back papers coming up.
Today's paper was ok, the only reason i am not jumping up and down declaring i can actually do the paper is because whenever i think i am going to do well. The whole universe will prove me wrong.
There i have said it... so... hahaha!!!

I miss everyone at home, it really feels not so nice staying out all by yourself.

Happy Weekend you guys!!!
Lotsa Love.

For my sister:

All your favorite songs for you!

Happy Day!!

=)

 My pup sends his love:

This is me all pretty and happy

This is me + stress.

Wish me luck!!!

Hey beautiful girl!!

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY RACHEL!!

I love you my beautiful sister!!

I wish you the best of the best in life,

You will grow up to be very beautiful, patient and kind,

full of grace and with a big big heart.

there will be more beautiful birthdays to come.

20th is just the starting of life.

Thanks for being there for me all the time.

*Sorreyh i can't be there*

Love.

Judgement Day

Hello people, tomorrow is the day. Where i have to go into a hall and be judged. Hah! I hate it - well because i am scared, anxious, panicky. Most of the time i can;t remember what i have studied and will completely scribble rubbish on my papers. Wish me luck!!! =)


Here's a little song stuck in my head,

p/s : My dad and sister brought Mr. Brown ( yeap, we decided to name him as such ) to the vet!!

SEE, i AM missing ALL THE GOOD STUFFS!!! Anyway, he sends this love. =D

Teehee..

Wednesday, wednesday, wednesday..... stress level going up.
But it goes right down when i see this:

He sends his love to you all!! =)

My best friends are books.

As the tittle suggests it.. i am back at my place so i can get ready for my papers which are ... very very near.
I am really starting to feel anxious because all i have been doing was just playing playing and more playing...

I didn't get to say goodbye to my pup... because i was in a rush this morning before i catch my bus. My journey was quick, the driver was speeding all the way... so i thought i could reach home early and start studying, but unfortunately i was stuck at the train station for 2 hours... technical problems.

I was kinda frustrated with the situation because i was in a rush. I really wanted to go home and start with my books but i was trapped in the train, going back and forth *it was crazy*!!! hahhaha.. but i manage to keep calm. However, there is something that i would like to highlight today. Whilst all the drama, some of the passengers were shouting in frustration. I was taken aback at their attitude towards this whole situation.

I mean, everyone is frustrated and this kind of technical problem happens very rarely, and i have to say that the team of workers there was trying their very best to help us. So this was what went through my mind, men are smart, clever beings and we created machines. We too can break down, what more about machines?? That was what helped me throughout that hot,sweaty,whilst carrying my very heavy bag filled to the brim with books. Maybe some of them were tired, or too caught up in the rat race, or just are rushing for time...

Anyways, i am totally in love with my puppy and i am very sad to be away from him. So sad that my sister decided to video call me and let me see him... he tried licking the phone. Isn't he just so.. there is no words to describe him. I am worried that by the time i go back, he is all grown up. Not ALL grown up but you know, no more that puppy face... hhahahhaha... today i was telling my sister that he has grown and he has an almost adult face... she said i am totally crazy...

Don't you think he has grown? 

 Have a nice day you guys, i will dive right back into my books. =)

Hopes and Reality.

My pup is growing too fast. I don't want him to grow up. :(

I want him to always be my cute little puff ball.

Studies have made me a little cranky. I don't want to study too.

Or work next time. I just want to spend everyday talking to my pup.

Or sleeping in my bed.

HAH! Fat hopes.

Love.

Hey you guys, i have been rather busy with my little pup and preparations for my finals.
It has almost a week since our puppy join our family.

I had just came home from kl and every night i could hear cries, made me unable to fall asleep, so one day and sister and i decided to check out the back of our house.. After some searching, we found 4 little pups in the corner of an unoccupied house..  little fur balls.. we almost got our head bitten off when their mother saw us getting too close to he pups.

I always wanted a dog ever since the last one went away and never came home.. It took me a couple of days to "want" the puppy. First of all, i didn't want the 4 pups to be separated... they are siblings after all, sometimes at night i secretly peep out the window and i saw the most heart stopping scene- all 4 of them running with the mommy all around the back alley.

But later, i realized one of it was taken- after i knew that, i loved them all the more- the group of them, even the mommy. She had an owner, now she's just not taken care of, i am guessing because she has pups now? So the mommy just sits outside the owner's house. Isn't sad how people can abandon their pets just like that.. I really feel sorry for such people, who have no compassion.

One morning, awoken by the cries of a puppy, i went to 'visit' them.. the pups are always falling in the drain, it's kinda exhausting to keep on saving them. That was the morning my dad decided to take one of the pups home. My dad is kinda of a dog expert - having reared thousands of them...

The second reason i didn't want the puppy although i wanted it was because i could never imagine how the mommy feels when her pup is taken away from her. When my dad was going to take the pup, the mommy kept following us and wanting to smell and show affection to that particular pup. It was heart-wrenching for me. You could actually see the mother wanting her pup back but at the same time she knows she  can't keep him. She kept on wanting to kiss and lick her pup, like as if a last goodbye. I tear a little. I can't imagine how the mom was feeling. She loved him. My dad said she can't keep him anymore because he's growing too fast and he will be better off with us - and she knows it.

As i walked away with the puppy in my hands, my heart felt heavy. So heavy and sad.

Now this puff ball runs freely in my garden and loves rolling in the green green grass. He is very playful, likes attention and knows that i will always give it to him. He is just such a beautiful face.

p/s : his mommy came looking for him, she sat in front of our  house gate and i just let her kiss him and then she went away.  Now mommy has 2 more 'girls' running with her all night long. * isn't it a wonder that there's gender discrimination among animals - this is crazy!!! *

How can you not love him?!?!, he is adorable!!!

He really loves plants.. =D

He sleeps in between the flower pots.