Grey skies are above me..

Today i feel a little grey and i can't seem to shake it off... 
Sometimes i get angry how nature works, how timing and places work..
How you really want things but its just never going to happen,
there's absolutely nothing anyone can do..but to just deal with it..
I can't control it, that why i am angry.... 
because i constantly have to beat myself to be my best..
Every time some one dear passes away, it always makes me love my life even more..
In the guest book, his daughter wrote , " I love you, daddy"..


I can't imagine how she would be feeling, losing her dad a few months before her wedding..
I can't imagine losing mine, at any point of my life... simple because he is my pa, and he will always
take care of me,love and uphold me until his last breath.
I am lucky, blessed, and honoured to have such a responsible, dedicated and loving father.


Christmas is next week, i don't want presents or gifts, i just want more time to spend with the people i love, more wisdom to discern between good and bad, and the courage to take that step, more patience to be around people, more love for those who need it, and more warmth to heat up the cold hearted, more grace to  accept that sometimes things don't go according to plans. To be more kind to those are undeserving, to love myself more each day. and to say i love u to my mom and dad, before its too late. ( i just can't )..
To be less rigid and fearless and just sail into the rough seas, and if its me alone-so be it. 


Sometimes it seems so difficult, but it gets better everyday doesn't it?
In His own time, His will be done, not mine. One day i will get it right.
I hope that there's not a sight of grey cloud over you today!!
Lots of love for all of you, may you all have a pleasant day.
=)