Something velvety

Oh my precious little one...

Mr Brown is growing up so fast... My sister tells me that he sleeps outside by himself now.. I remember the days when he was so small and he would use his paw to knock our door if we locked him out for the night... And he cries ... Wanting to be beside us..

Did you know that dogs are afraid of the dark too when they are young?

I miss him so much.. I can almost smell him sometimes....

My sister tells me that he misses me too... Sometimes when I'm gone for a few days... He comes into my room and cries at my bed, he jumps onto my bed and rolls on it and sleeps on it... Sometimes he sleeps under my bed...

What better love can God bestow upon me? A love that is forever faithful, always caring and wanting to be there.. A love so great, no matter how tired I am, I will still carry on to do things for him.

Because he follows me into the bathroom and waits for me there, he waits for me when I'm cooking dinner... Because he always wants to be near me, sometimes when I run faster and leave him behind, he gets angry and grabs my leg- not letting it move any further... Sometimes he brushes his fur against my legs to let me know he is there... Sometimes he only wants to eat my food and not his, because he wants to share whatever I'm having- even thought our food are the same.. Hahahahahaa...

What better love can I ask for? He gives me nothing but pure joy and happiness... My precious little thing... Love you always... Can wait to go home and love you more!!!

Well my lovelies, this is my love story. Hoping that your coming week is beautiful. Start it with love and kindness- always works for me!!!

Love for all of you.... :)

Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away.

But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night.

Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart.

But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eye.

Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

Weekend in..

Today i stayed at home and watched this beautiful movie about ....

Some said that the movie doesn't do any justice to the book... Well i am going to read the book then...
But these kind of love, sad , romantic books are ..... i find them really terrifying, me being a hopeless romantic.. Some how these awesome authors manage to write down every single emotion that you cannot explain through words. Touches me deep down inside... Le sigh. The beauty of words..

Anyways after watching this movie, i had a little small outing with my friends.. =)
It felt good... wished it could have last longer..

Wishing you a very very happy weekend to all my dear readers!
Love for all of you... =)


p/s : did i mention that their OST is amazing!! =) Check out the movie + the soundtrack

A little lace dress for the weekend...

Fabulous Friday

Today i woke up to a phone call from my good good friend, someone i truly care about, we have never been able to be there physical for each other but always there somehow.... It was a pleasant surprise. But still i am still in my transition state, where sometimes the only thing that is holding me back is .. fear.

Here is how things go in my head:

 I'm scared, what if.... i'm terrified.... i'm scared.. like really ok?  What would i do is this happened, or that happened? Will i ever regret, why am i even having this conversation with my brain....

Then i felt a little tired, try having a debate with your own brain...

Then ... "Why are so scared, what is the worst thing that can ever happen to you? Look at the light... follow it.. no one is perfect... just take that step... everything you ever wanted is just outside your comfort zone..."
" Nooo.... you don't understand.. I'm really scared ... to breathe to move... what if everything just becomes worst?"

So i just ignored my brain for the rest of the day and put on my ear phones...
This was what i heard....

         Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams

         Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before..

         Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar...

         And you'll live like you've never lived before...

        Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind,

        In this darkness you know you cannot fight...

        Let your mind start a journey 

        through a strange new world

        Leave all thoughts

       Of the life you knew before

        Let your soul take you where you long to be

Illustration .. of what happened in my brain..

It's going to be worth it

I'm scared.... I'm not ready at all,

..fear, Excuses, Nothing is easy

Take a leap of faith,Pessimism,terrified, 

I'm not ready, its not time yet, I'm not ready

YOU CAN DO IT.fear

You deserve this,I'm not ready, Be courageous 

i am really scared...

fear... Face your fears!

I cannot run away can i... its Friday ok.. give me a break!

Dear readers, you are really appreciated,

 please come forward and let me get to know you!! =)

Have a fabulous weekend!

Do u have enough?

Hey you guys!!! How's Thursday treating you? Mine was kinda awesome, nothing fancy but just it's just such a pleasant day... I saw this beautiful image while I was jogging... :) there"s something about nature that is so comforting...

This is enough to keep me going .... Too easy to get caught up in a destructive cycle, don't you think so? Yesterday while I was waiting for public transport, my day was ok, not like amazing.. And this guy beside me smiled at me and started talking to me.. He told me he is excited to do business today, he sells peanuts in a packet( those that cost one buck) and he was well dressed for that kind of business, he wore an ironed button down with a three quater pants. Honestly he looks kinda edgy for a peanut seller.. His look was completed with a pair of white old sneakers(the sort we wear to school).

However I can't help but notice that his socks were held up with rubber bands, simply because there was no more elasticity in them.. And I am terribly humbled by that situation. Because how many of us can smile( like him) and wear rubber bands with our socks... Yet still looked forward to do what we have to do everyday?

Socks held up by rubber bands for you?

Lots of love for all my readers, even if you are just visitng.. Do leave a message, so I can get to know you better. :)
Have an amazing day...

Ohh Laa Laa

wishlist for Christmas!! - Red hot nails with a glittering dress =)

here

Mild Wednesday

Hey peeps, i am totally addicted to instagram!!!

Anyways, how is the rest of your wednesday coming along?

Mine was pretty mild- i have an aching head..

I think i have been playing with my instagram for far too long.

Hope your day was pleasant!!

till then, 

Lotsa love for all of you beautiful beings

=)

Why don't you wear a beautiful backless dress?

here

My all time fav heel!! =) Goes with everything!!

hahaha

Monday Update..

My weekend was bad, i honestly don''t know why all my weekends are bad.

I am in this shit place that seems so dark.

On my way back today, i cried all the way for 4 whole hours

but totally regretted it later..

Because my eyes look like shit now and 

i have a thudding migraine..

(the person sitting next time me must be totally pissed)

Nontheless, no matter how bad i am always grateful

i am happy to be able to wake up everyday to see the sunrise with Mr Brown...

I am glad all my loved ones are safe and sound,

I am happy i am able and all my limbs are working perfectly,

Happiness is knowing Mr Brown waits for me faithfully everyday, all the time,

Happiness is being with family..

Happiness is savouring life with all i have.

Happiness is knowing i can get up when i fall down again.

Not forgetting

Happiness is not about wealth or material.

The most beautiful being in my world.

Mr Brown is a big boy now.. He is getting taller and longer... 

And he is totally spoilt.

Non the less he loves me sooo much because he just wants to be

around meeeeeeee...

May all of you have a great day/evening ahead.

Love for all of you!!

=)

Purple Beauty.

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G 

Pretty little things..

here

Do you ever .. ?

Worry? I worry way too much when i'm sad and down. I'm afraid i won't laugh again.
I'm afraid i won't wake up and appreciate the sun.

I'm scared of the future.. but when i am happy i embrace it with much love and look forward to every adventure.
I am scared if my parents die too early.. I can't remember the last time i kissed him.

What if i am always going to feel this way. I need something bigger.. to remind me how small i am, and how tiny my worries are. I feel so insecure, and i know it takes time to heal.

Did i ever mention i am way too impatient. I feel like yelling at my wounds, " Heal already ! "
It has only been 24 hours. Its going to be a long and winding road.

I wished things would just go away, i wish for many many things. But reality remains.

What Bad Day?

Yesterday i couldn't even sleep... drifting in and out of sleep. I had to cancel all my plans today because the moment i opened my eyes i was feeling numb and i had a thudding headache.

I was a having a horrible day, i was sitting in my hall, in my empty beautiful house. 

Like the house, i feel empty too.

I could hear the clock ticking, seconds just kept ticking away and with each tick the pain grew greater.

I was was disappointed, sad and angry with the things that kept happening to me.

I cried until my swollen eyes couldn't cry no more. I wish i could do something, break things. Get angry at the world. Wondered why it is so easy for everyone to keep together. Everyone seem to has the key to everything but not me. What have i been missing?

I realised that the mistake was me, i was valuing myself through my failures and obstacles... never the other way though. 

So i failed, not just once.... many many times in many many things.And through all these failures i learn, unfortunately the hard way. I am growing - a lot, but the pain is greater and more vast than the sea.

Sometimes it gets hard to breathe. Time don't heal, you heal when you let things go. I feel like i can't go on, not even one more step - not even an inch.

So i thought i was having a bad day... like as if it couldn't get any better. Like as if i were in the dumps.

Really?

What about those who are lying in the hospital dying? What about those mothers whose baby dies 2 minutes after being born... What about those who had dreams but were cut short because they died in the operation theatre? What about those who were counting their days.... here i am .... having a bad day...

Cold and Wet Weekend..

It's Saturday... and i am going to lie in bed all day long and all night long. =D


A little something for all of you!! =) This duo is just amazing.

Bad Bad Friday.

My day was so bad today, i hope that the remaining hours will be better..

1)I am totally frustrated with the traffic at my new place. I travel quite a bit, and everyone goes gaga on a Friday, and it was raining. And it was peak hour. I sat in the bus for 1hour and 50 minutes - a journey that normally take about 40 minutes. I deserve a freaking GOLD MEDAL!!!!

2) Today i had a reality check moment. I just realised what my body actually look like after months of not running at 10km/h. It looks like ....... { pls fill in the blanks } . and i can no longer wear figure hugging dresses without tucking in my tummy ( sometimes tucking it in doesn't even work ). Some days i find myself wear skirts only because i can't fit into my pants?

Maybe this can help you understand...

 I used to climb mountains for goodness sake.

This is the highest peak i can take, to be reminded how all the chocolate squares have contributed to what i am today...

Tomorrow will be a better day, hopefully i will start exercising like a crazy person and get to lose some weight before Christmas, because i will DEFINITELY put on weight for that occasion. Damn It.

Can i have this wrapped up with a red ribbon for Christmas!

Thank You.

here

Wishing...

I can't wait for Christmas.. some of the malls are already playing Christmas Carols... my mom has asked me to put up the Christmas tree.. but honestly i am a little afraid... do you know what 

this angelic face will do to the ornaments and the tree, and tree bark? Trust me- you won't want to know.

I just miss Christmas because everyone will be home and there's so much food(!), love and it just feels great. Not forgetting all the glitters, and beautiful dresses i am going to wear and ..... all the stuffs i am going to buy.

hahhahahah.

Nah, actually i just feel happy around Christmas because it's the time i thank God for another beautiful year, and this year grandma will be with us.

But, first and foremost... how do i put up a Christmas tree and stop my dog from eating it!! haha.

I am totally crazy.. it's the 10th of Nov!!!!!

Over and over again.

Hey you guys, how have you been while i was busy doing ..... nothing. haha. I have been doing everything actually. And only today i manage to really sit down and write.

Life has been good - it is always good no matter how sunny or cloudy it may be. Today i am feel all nostalgic about my one love. I am mostly away from home, so i talk to him via the phone on loudspeaker mode. And he is growing by the day. Every time i see him after a week or so, he seem to be bigger and wiser and not so naughty any more { like as if playing is no more his thing } ..

My sister said that sometimes he waits for me by the door.. I am the closest person to him. Whenever i return home, his tail wags like from east to west and his ears are pulled back like as if he is smiling from ear to ear.... and he hugs my legs... so i carry him into my arms and he licks my face... and he makes this funny sound, almost saying " Where have you been, i missed you sooooo much "...

Today my sister realised that his baby teeth has fallen out!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. i am actually missing all these..

Hahaha... my sister said he is missing 2 of his front teeth and one from the bottom row... i can actually imagine how he looks like... CUTE!! i will definitely post a picture of him.

this beautiful puppy has brought much love into my life.

He is growing so much, i wish he could stay this way forever.. Sometimes my dad says i love him too much. How can i not? After what he has gone through. I pray that the next surgery that he will be going for, will help him pee and let him lead a normal dog life... Sometimes when he plays with other dogs... he gets bullied all the time, i wonder if its because he is not the same as other dogs.

I love you Mr. Brown. =)

Absence..

I feel so excited.. for Christmas..

And i am totally sorry for not blogging as frequent as before..

It's just that time.. i don't feel i have to blog about anything..

Haha.. but - something is coming up for sure.. =)

till then.. love for all of you!!