Dennis Basso Spring 2013, NY

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Imposed Impact.

Many teachers have come and gone in my span of life, but there are a few who stays in my heart.
A teachers' job is not only to educate from the book - but also, to me, to impart all that she knows - to equit me for the world out there.

And i remember my headmistress in high school. She didn't teach me anything but was just a beauty to look at. Always glowed with such kindness, glamour - just by the way the graced through the corridors of the school. I was always awed by the way the carried herself - always calm and composed. Looked ordinary but glowed with such beauty in my eyes.

I remember that our entire school was going to throw her a farewell party for the retirement. The whole school was involved - yes, she was that important. I didn't know what to get her. I didn't want to get her the norm, you know the flowers and cards, or something predictable. So what i did was, i had an empty tape - and i recorded all my fav oldies into the tape. Wrapped it up with a pretty ribbon and i passed it to her.

At one point i asked myself if she would ever like it.

A few years after, i'm all grown up right. And we met at a cosmetic counter. And i approach her - still such a beauty. And i introduced myself ( bear in mind that she doesn't know me personally at all ), and she said, " I know you, i loved your present - it stood out. I appreciate it Vanessa"  - she called me by my name.

And i hope everyday i find ways to leave a trail behind. A beautiful one.




 

Miss this boy.

He just had a birthday not too long ago. Miss this face so much. and his hugs, and his love . his pure love.
And his loyalty. I have to go home soon to spend some lovely time with this ball of love.

The many faces of her.

 Happy 21st Birthday Rachel!

I love you, and you are the best sister in the world.

And you have the most beautiful soul.

Why Don't You?

Penang '12

Sometimes i am gullible. And innocent.

And easy-taken-advantage off.

Maybe not the latter.

The inner voice.

Self-confidence. Something i find so hard to acquire sometimes. Other times, i'm quite full of it. The other rest of the days, my tank lays low.

I know how i look like, i'm quite aware that most of the time i look pleasant, not amazingly breath-taking but just pleasant. (Unless i'm at home or i'm preparing a meal - pretty difficult to look polish while doing so.)

But i'm not here to discuss how i look, i'm here to discuss what values i posses and my abilities. Lately i have been feeling a little off, because i have been struggling with the fact that my capabilities are often taken lightly and sometimes not-appreciated. Am i the only one?

A certain basket of goods were laid in front of me, however i decided not to choose it, because i'm way more worthy than that amount offered. And i am honorable. How could i ever accept something less of me. But before coming to that conclusion - i struggled alot with my own head and heart.

I was asking myself if i was only worth so little? What have i been doing wrong, or have i been in a self-denial cloud ? I started to doubt myself, my abilities and capabilities. I almost accepted the offer - which was far from my breaking-point.

After all these thoughts, i was then already burning with fury. Totally struggling with what was happening and just couldn't accept such nonsense. I asked questions, and listened to explanations - but it was all crap. That interview was one of the most boring ones i have ever been in. I just wanted to punch the HR manager's face.

So - i walked away. It's not about getting the job or not. But i was just amazed that it shook me, and my self-confidence. I started to doubt myself. Just because someone else didn't see what i saw in me. And this is bad, NO? Yes it is - i would like to say that my self-confidence doesn't/shouldn't depend on what others think about me. But then again, sometimes only others can see what i can't see.

I should work on this.