I have been missing in action. But at the same time been through too much action.
Life is crazy hectic. I'm trying hard to keep my sanity or even ..
Just a little quiet time for myself seems impossible.
And of course it's not perfect.
The road to success, definitely is the hardest and longest road. Honestly, sometimes i feel so tired of trying already - trying my very very best. Held by that one string that keeps it all together. Sometimes I just want to unglue and let it all fall apart, only to start all over. Endings and beginnings are truly indeed a way of life. Can't escape it at all.
I'm so tired- work is consuming. Mentally exhausting and physically draining. Emotionally - sucks me dry like a vacuum. Somedays I just want to run, away obviously. But this is good right? Means i'm learning things - not exactly the way I expect it to be. Pretty sure I will turn out better. Learning through pain - hopefully at the end of it, I am a much better person.
That I can face failures and defeat in the eye with full graciousness. That I am stretched mentally and emotionally in preparation for the future that is in store for me. I know I'm supposed to be positive and blogs are sometimes a place where everything seems perfect. The perfect picture, the perfect life, the perfect partner, the perfect vacation. I'm like all of you - just more realistic. I can talk about my sadness and emptiness. I'm human and I'm not going to hide it or not talk about it because it gives people the impression that i am so kept well together. Sometimes I just want to scream and shout and just cry. Other times I just want to stay in bed and feel better. The rest of the time, I just want to watch a movie and eat chocolate cake.
Sometimes my sink is full of dirty dishes, and I do not enjoy doing the laundry. I wished i had the time to play my plays' station. Or i could just burry myself in the pile of books i'm suppose to be reading. Sometimes I am so tired. I just want to sleep ALL weekend.
And that's when all the money in the world. Seems worthless.
Nonetheless, I still love my life very much. I'm blessed to be growing, to be learning at every minute of my life. That I am still trying to live each day with much compassion and hope. Living each day with so much intensity is exhausting, but it is fulfilling.
It's the crazy ones who change the world. Chase your dreams.
Lets make more magic.
It's just outside your comfort zone. The best part ?
It's not difficult at all to get there.
Just a little extra effort.
Love for all of you people. xoxo
