Blinding Beauty

When it comes, it comes..

When my mind takes over me.

Today, I feel really .. crazy. The amount of things that goes through my mind is mind-blasting.

Less than 48 hours ago, I just touched down from a very nice getaway. I travelled through Java, Bali and Lombok in 10 days. My - it was spectacular. I'll post pictures!

I got exhausted just by looking at my schedule. I can't sleep at night because my body is still adjusting to my daily routine. There was just too much beauty in my short trip. Sunrises, sunsets, plentiful lush green trees , smiling sun, beautiful and kind people.

Back to my schedule. Yap - consumed already. I'm working way too hard. Feeling way too tired. Worrying about way too many things. I'm tired and I feel old.

Was it because..

I took a year off and wasted time on 'thinking what I want out of life' ?
Or I just wasn't good enough.
Was it because I didn't score straight A's in uni?
Is it because I'm smarter?
Does this have to do with the number of books I read.
Or the almost un- increasing number of smart conversations I'm suppose to have.
Was it because I took short-cuts?
Did I eat too much pizza.

I keep a record of people's response

You're still young.
No rush.
Relax and enjoy your life.
Do what you love.
At least you're NOT 30.
Your time will come.

And I'm just so ready to jump on their face. I feel terribly tired. But looking at this beautiful picture, just makes me feel less insane.

The prettiest sunrise ever.

SUNDAY!!

Hello dearest people;

I'll peel a piece of my life now to fill you in about what red/yellow/purple cloud has been over me.
The last 2 weeks was crazy, i mean its always crazy but for the past 2 months. It has been crazy crazy. Like a way that I could have never imagined. The impossible happened and I'm terribly surprised how much stress my body can handle. Actually not much. Physically or mentally. On a scale of one to ten. Its a staggering 2.37..

Haha. Humorous.

I have had 2 nervous breakdowns - ALREADY!. That was just in a total of 2 weeks. Let me think, in the past two months... how many nervous breakdowns have i had? 683 times.

My social life is a big ZERO. Actually is a negative. Haha. I spend my weekends in bed. Oh. I know how this sounds like. But i'm so happy to be in my bed. Our relationship has literally grown - exponentially.

This weekend work is being nice and gentle to me. So I have had a few extra hours to stare in the space and breath without having to do anything. Man.. The perfect definition of happiness.

And I had my 10km run. Wind in my face. My breakfast is not oats and nuts. Its actually scrambled eggs, with sauteed mushrooms and half and avocado with the perfect latte.

Owh. Sunday - you love me don't you?

I love you more.

I want to jump for joy.

Magical Moments.

I like to star gaze. The only chance I get to do it.. is actually when I'm out of town.
Because there;s no chance of seeing anything in the sky with that level of light and air pollution.

And when I was just staring at the sky for almost 2 hours.

A shooting star.

With the vast dark but clear sky as the backdrop. Along with many other stars.
Was indeed a very magical moment.

Witnessing it, awoke my broken spirit. Makes me feel a little more alive - like something bigger and more interesting is out there for me to explore. For me to waste time on. Other than my world things.

I, of course made a wish.

I wished that I could love more, love better.

without you - it's a waste of time.

Why Don't You

 

Have that difficult 

conversation 

already?