Stress Alert.

Yesterday was a bad bad monday because i didn't get to sleep like a baby. This is how sometimes i hate myself for having insomnia.

1 am      : I off my lights, put some lavender oil on my pillow. Tuck myself in.
1.05 am : Looks at the ceiling.
1.06 am : Looks at the cupboard.
1.07 am : Looks at the wall.
1.08 am : Looks at my table.
1.09 am : *finding that comfortable spot*
1.10 am : Talks to my little ashley *cute little red pig*
1:11 am : Close my eyes and pray to God, to give me rest.
1:15 am : Opens eyes.
4.30 am : Looks at the ceiling.
5:00 am : Still tossing and turning.
5:30 am : Finally, i'm drifting away to dream land.
7:00 am : Alarm ringssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Yea, so i dragged myself out of bed, bathe with my eyes closed. When i reached uni, i am restless, and tired and within 3 minutes of a tutorial or lecture i feel like dying. But the day got better because my friends were being so goofy and funny, i kept laughing until my stomach ached. So i got home at 7 in the evening. I have to study and do my tutorials, and go to the gym and cook dinner.
In the end i just ate bread, skipped gym and dived straight into tutorials.

I really don't understand how lecturers work...
  
     What is being taught in lectures :  X
     What is being asked in tutorials : Y + Z
     What is test in finals                  : 0.05X + 0.2(Y + Z)

What is the purpose? To teach one thing and ask us another thing, and test us on a fraction of both?
To cut the super long story short, every single time i do my finance tutorials, i end up sitting on my chair for hours, because i have to read the lecture notes again and again, and then try to search the net for answers. Showing up in tutorials with no answers is.... you will get beheaded.

So i went to bed,this time i just died. hahhahaha... Tuesdays are a bit more relaxing. Still 8-5 classes, but i have 2 hours break instead of just an hour... i skipped gym again today. I feel super tired, my chest is tight, like gasping for air??? Tell tale sign that my body is literally rejecting the idea of what is going to happen for the next few weeks.....

Week 8 - 3 test + 1 quiz
Week 9 - 1 test + 2 assignments due date + 1 quiz
Week 10 - 1 test + 1 quiz.

The quiz is such a pain in the ass, it goes on for 10 weeks, one mark per each quiz.
So for you to totally get 10 marks. You have to get 1/1 for each quiz, which consist of 10 questions.
Lecturers are mad.

Stress alert!!!!!!!!!!!!


But guess what? Even with all these stress, i still wanna study. However the only thing that is stopping me is ...... i keep wanting to go to the mall to get groceries.. totally crazy.

when insomnia kicks in. i just feel like a walking zombie.

I'm totally exhausted but i can't sleep.

My muscles start to cramp, my head feels heavy.

My eyes are burning. And i feel faint. 

Please let me get some sleep

Christmas + Weekend = Disaster.

So i had the exam hours ago, its was kinda ok. But i was expecting 100% or at least 90% but there were a few questions that i couldn't do... Yeah, you know.. the ones that you wished and prayed won't appear on the papers will somehow miraculously appear on it- FIRST PAGE FIRST QUESTION.

So, after the paper i wanted to go out to the nearest shopping mall, just to take a walk.
I haven't been out of my apartment for almost 2 weeks... HAH!.
I wanted to go out so much because i just wanted to see something other than the four walls
in my room.. But unfortunately, after the exam i didn't go because the night before i couldn't
sleep at all. Insomnia is bad, totally.

So my eyes were burning and my shoulders weight a thousand tonnes, and i was so hungry
i could eat a cow. So i got some amazing brunch and just wasted a couple of hours.
I was kinda waiting for my tiredness to kick in, but guess what. It doesn't.
So i'm tossing and turning in bed trying to get some rest but i cant even get abit of it,
and my body needs the rest because its going to break down soon.

So after struggling to sleep, i finally pull myself up from the bed and head downtown.
Oh my, i have never seen KLCC so full before in my entire life. I must say, seeing so many people,
and the lights and decorations it made me more excited about Xmas than i already am.
Massive bargains are going on everywhere, but i wasn't excited at all because i really wanted this one dress and its too expensive for me as a student.. so i have to give it a go. Perhaps next time when
i am earning... So i am in this mourning state *for my dress* and all the shops i went into..
nothing looks appealing to me..

After a few shops, i saw this beautiful dress with a 60% deduction. Without hesitation, i became its owner. Haha, my tiredness went away in an instant.. So after that, i wanted to get a bite and i went
to Chilies, nope. its full and so i thought maybe subway-the queue is longer than the escalator..
So i decided to head home, and almost 7 anyways..

Hungry, tired, and happy.. i headed to the train station. To my horror.........
I see millions of people.. queuing up to get tickets. So i was like... " What to do, Xmas drives everyone excited and mad ".. so i stood in line.. About 20 seconds later, this girl, she came to me and stood in front of me.. I am like OK.

So i said to her "Hello, are you queuing here? "
Her : Yes.
Me : I am queuing here, you just cut me.
Her : No i didn't. You let me cut you.
Thinks *WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?*
Me : It certainly doesn't start here and for your information, look at the queue behind me *pointing to her*
I turn back and saw 8 pair of eyes staring back at me.
Her : I didn't cut queue ok.
Me  : Ok, alright. You didn't and you can this spot.
And she rolls her eyes at me......


So its Christmas, its a time to give and be happy...

At the end of the day, i am still studying for my next paper. And fever is my new best friend.
And sore throat is my soul mate. They finally came to visit me after all those stressful nights and
all those time which i should be sleeping. Non the less, still excited about my new dress and going
home . =)

Deep fried.

I had a long tiring day... i woke up late... but surprisingly i managed to wash my hair and still get to the 

bus stop in time for the bus. Lecture was boring, i was literally nodding away. I tried not to, but oh boy..

I am exhausted ( still having sleepless nights). And i had an hours' break, so i went to the library.

Nothing caught my eyes so i just picked up the newspaper.. and i came across this article about insomnia, written by a freelance writer. I always loved her articles, always witty and funny.

Well, apparently i have chronic insomnia... hahaha 

Causes of chronic insomnia include:

• Depression and/or anxiety.
• Chronic stress.
• Pain or discomfort at night.

Symptoms of Insomnia

Symptoms of insomnia can include:

• Sleepiness during the day.
• General tiredness.
• Irritability.
• Problems with concentration or memory.

Diagnosing Insomnia

If you think you have insomnia, talk to your health care provider. An evaluation may include a physical exam, a medical history, and a sleep history. You may be asked to keep a sleep diary for a week or two, keeping track of your sleep patterns and how you feel during the day. Your health care provider may want to interview your bed partner about the quantity and quality of your sleep. In some cases, you may be referred to a sleep center for special tests.

Treatment for Insomnia

Acute insomnia may not require treatment. Mild insomnia often can be prevented or cured by practicing good sleep habits (see below). If your insomnia makes it hard for you to function during the day because you are sleepy and tired, your health care provider may prescribe sleeping pills for a limited time. Rapid onset, short-acting drugs can help you avoid effects such as drowsiness the following day. Avoid using over-the-counter sleeping pills for insomnia since they may have undesired side effects and tend to lose their effectiveness over time.

Treatment for chronic insomnia includes first treating any underlying conditions or health problems that are causing the insomnia. If insomnia continues, your health care provider may suggest behavioral therapy. Behavioral approaches help you to change behaviors that may worsen insomnia and to learn new behaviors to promote sleep. Techniques such as relaxation exercises, sleep restriction therapy, and reconditioning may be useful.

What- so i am depressed? I have anxiety? Chronic stress? No way.. Hahaha, i am quite certain i have non of these, maybe just a little heart issues.. But it will go away soon, i will make it go away. I hate being on sleeping pills, because 8 hours is never enough.. it makes me groggy the next day..

After reading that article, i left for my tutorial class... i totally forgot that we're having replacement class today.. So Today i will be have a 4.5 hours tutorial class.. Man... My brains were going to get deep fried...

But no.. the class turned out ok.. but she was the most long winded tutor i have ever met.. she repeated the answer 3 times for every question.. I'm like " OK, WE GET YOU ". My brains are still functioning perfectly well, but something got fried. My KNEES GOT FRIED. LIKE GOT FRIED AT 1000 DEGREES WITHOUT OIL.

Man, that class was freezing cold.. and after 4.5 hours... my knees hurt really bad. I wanted to cry. Not again!!!!.... It hurt so much i just went home and just lay down on my bed for hours.. Not to mention, i was trying to sleep.

Maybe that article was right, and maybe i do have something that is really bugging me- but what? I would like to know to. Is there something in there, heart- are you ok? The article mentioned that we have to let go and forgive ourselves and bla bla bla.... aaahhhh. Maybe i am so distracted by the fact i am already picturing myself in that holiday destination.. green fields, blue skies, beautiful people and just me. I swear thats the only think i have been thinking about. Every time i close my eyes, its just there...Anyways,I think i really need some medical help regarding my knees.. i will make an appointment this weekend. Maybe my knee is causing all my depression... because i can't run or do anything normal....

After that i met up with sis, watched a movie.. " Life as we know it" starring Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel- not too bad-funny and i kinda like it.. its a movie you can relate to life. =)


How was your day? Great?

Insomnia.

I can't sleep, and when i don't get my rest.

I can't do anything right.