Hide and Seek

We meet all types of people in life, some are awesome, some psychotic, some painfully smart.....

But i wonder why i meet a lot of people who are of the same category.. Confused people.

I wished it was funny. Sometimes i think it doesn't involve me because its their life right? WRONG.

Confused people are those who doesn't know what they want in life, and it really shows.

They can't pick a restaurant, they don't know what they want to do, what to eat, they have no idea

about what's next. Then there're some who just can't decide between yes or no.. so one minute they are the yes people the next minute , they say no.. then yes then no...... Its like they just wait to follow people's foot steps. I don't know why, why don't for once, just take the lead, say what you really want to do, say what you feel. Get a backbone. 

Its like they're zombies, just dead people walking, no emotions, no desires, no dreams. You just do what you're supposed to do. Its like they have no appetite for life. I feel deeply for them. Oh my.

Don't you ever want to eat pizza, or double chocolate fudge cake, or just down the damn beer?

Is it that they compromise too much? Or is it that we're so advanced now, given that there are so many

choices out there, we can't choose ( The curse of too many choices? ). Maybe they're not leaders, just followers...  It really drives me nuts, especially when you're out with a group, everyone's waiting for someone to make a decision about where to eat, and so i command. ( If i don't we'll be standing there for - i dunno how long ). Then when we're having our meals, thats when they speak up.. like we shouldn't have came here, we shouldn't this we shouldn't that. [ Ya, we could have not come here, if you spoke up 20 minutes ago !!!!!!!!! ] 

I have this problem mainly with girls-thats why i stay far away from them. About 60% of guys i know are like that. Its kinda frustrating. Sometimes i just want to see a man do his thing. Just for once, make me feel like a woman. Be kick-ass, pick one and stick to it. Be decisive. Same when it comes to emotions, there was once a guy told me he likes me, then a few days later he say no, he doesn't like me anymore.
I mean how can you get confused? Dude..... WTH..... And if you love someone, can you love for one day and not the next? No, you can't .. so what got in the way between your heart's desires and what comes out from your mouth? Was it your ego? or you just don't have the courage to tell what's really happening in there.... Its a waste of time isn't it. As if we don't have enough equations to solve in life... the last thing i need is to get entangled with confused people.

No more hide and seek please we're no longer kids... I don't have all morning to look for you, or your thoughts or your desires. Look for yourself and lay them out..

 Am i expecting too much here? 

Skyline.

 

Batu Caves

Lookout Point

I love the sky.. but too often its too bright for me   to marvel at it, or most of the time, i am too busy to 

  notice the sky.. However, during my holidays,

  I had the chance to take a great look at it and

  click, click, click.

I am not really a fan of buildings, but the view at lookout point was just impressive.

Definitely a place to go with your partner, or else,

go enjoy the view with friends..

These pictures were taken at Kota Kinabalu,

Its just so pictorial and picturesque..

I feel so happy by just looking at it.

hahahhah... =D

Mount Kota Kinabalu

In or Out?

You see all these women wearing tights like as if it is a massive big fashion statement, from young kids to older women wearing them in black,white,red, pink.... Dude, seriously? Tights? You will never catch me in one of those-never. The closest i can get is my gym gear.

Fashion, is a foreign word to me. I am not a fashionable person. You can never catch me my tights, or whats the current trend? MC HAMMER PANTS. Disastrous. I would never consider wearing that, because first of all, we wear clothes to protect ourselves, secondly reason we wear clothes is to look good, and to enhance what we already have in the first place.. the shape of this pants does nothing good for my body.

Fashion or style. My clothes are boring to the core(people my age don't know how to appreciate it), but essential, classic my sister would say. But people without style cannot see this. My guy friends tell me i am boring and tells me that the girl with hot pink tights *sitting in front of us* looks hot. Well, what can i say, wrong audience.To understand my style is to know classic. 

Classics : Shift dresses, little black/red dress. any beautiful nicely fitted dress. beautiful blouses, 

                white shirts, cigarette cut/flare tailored pants , 3 piece pants suit,

                cardigans, pencil/flare skirts, leather jacket. blue ass smacking jeans, basic t-shirts , pumps, 

                ballerina flats, classic open toe shoes,strand of pearls, diamonds.  

This is all you need to look perfectly put together for your entire lifetime. 

I see people trying so hard to stand out. Just mess with the basics and you'll never go wrong. Always wear YOUR SIZE, unless you wanna look like a trash bag or you have put on some weight. Fashion is art, sometimes we just cannot wear them..

You know people who are stylish are those who look so good, they look so put together, and they have a certain aura when they walk down the street. So straighten up your shoulders, tummy in, put on your beautiful clothes, start turning heads for the right reasons.

My oh My

Yesterday night... i dreamt on a man. A beautiful man. He had bright sparkly eyes, he has this
disturbingly full and sexy pink lips. Ohh.. and i was in this foreign place... beautiful, then he leans over,
to kiss me. Wet passionate kiss.. then my phone rang ...........................................

Oh my love.

Hello knee, i am truly sorry for hurting you.
Please, i really love you and i need you to get  better.. quickly.
I miss walking properly and jogging and cycling and swimming...
I miss tossing and turning at night without having to hold you and
place you properly before i turn my body...
So please have mercy.. i haven't had any release of endorphins lately,
so please have mercy....

Get well soonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

So what's next...

So uni has already begun... classes are awesome.. I feel great but i don't really feel that great.
See, i have conquered the highest peak in SEA, ran my 10KM run in an hour. I felt high and mighty,
on top of the world, like i could do anything in this world. The adrenaline is wearing off..
I am starting to feel like a regular person again.. like everyday regular... like

      Hit the snooze button, take a shower, rush for the bus, take out my pencil,
      scribble on my paper what the lecturer just mentioned, come home,
      study, msn, facebook, google, blog sleep.

I guess i need something more than this, i need to keep reminding myself there's something
better and bigger, worth living for out there. Struggling. I guess i just have to believe it.

I feel mentally exhausted. Prior to all the awesomeness, i was in a pretty deep shit hole.
I don't know how i crawled out of there but i did!!!. So i am back, feeling like another regular
person... i feel like i have to clean up my mess... and all these emotional stuffs are so hard to deal with.
I can literally hear loud bangs on the wall on my heart saying- "Listen to me, please stop ignoring me".

That very night, i sat in the dark on my bed, i was up the whole night. I didn't know what shit when
through my head, but i knew it was shit. Because the next day i forgot what was it all about.
But today, i know what is it. Its all the emotions i held back, all the hurt, all the disappointments,
all the hurt and pain. I can't cry, i am so numb i can't cry. But i am taking each day at a time.

I can't keep doing this to myself.. I can't keep telling myself that i need a holiday, and run away
from all the mess right here. Even if i could.. where the hell am i going to get the funds to keep travelling..
But i secretly wished i could =).   Ooohhhh... sometimes i need something bigger than myself, to
remind myself that whatever i am thinking now, worrying, obsessing, what i am hurting about is ......
definitely absofuckinglutely not worth my time. So, let me marvel at your greatness O God... Its actually there, i just have to open my eyes, and appreciate it.

Baby steps baby steps baby steps baby steps. slowly but surely i will get there.
Maybe i should start planning for my next holiday =)

Sabah!!!

After our climb, we ten of us rent a few service apartments and stayed there for 2 nights. We explored the town, went to the Philippino Market , we visited one complex in particular because it was the nearest to us and we ate most our meals there.

*Picture taken next to Philippino market*

It was a time of bonding with everyone, its was nice to get to know people who share the same passion with me, travelling and outdoor sports. We are all soo different, but yet we all could come together and have so much fun. I enjoyed myself so much with these people.
Sze Wen, Alice, Lily, Su cin, Katherine, Winson, and of course the people i know better, like Kee Seng, Alvin and Woon Haw. It was a pleasure holidaying with you guys.

All in all, it was fun for me, would i do it again? HELL YEAH!!!!!!
                                                              

Enjoy!!

This was where we put up for a night, small cottage like house with a beautiful fire place... 

From our little house, we could see the magnificent mountain

that we were going to climb. Beautiful isn't she?? 

This is meeeee!!!! Excited and all smiley...
As mentioned in my previous blog, it was stairs all the way..
Ass tightening workout!!! As you can see, its rather misty,
and it was pretty cooling.

I took many pictures of trees... thats the only thing i snap.Many many trees all around. Most of them were bonsai-looking trees. There were a few beautiful flowers too... The last 3 photos were taken from the peak, on my way down. Breath-taking views. Definitely the most beautiful thing i have ever seen up till today... =)

This is where my life begins.

The sky was beautiful, so was the sea, and the view from above was breath-taking.

Everything was so tiny from air. Clouds look like cotton candies hanging from the clear blue sky.

Huge oil tankers looked like pencils, islands looked like chocolate cubes... imagine me... i must be sooooo tiny...

So here i am, in Sabah, mentally and physically ready to climb Mount KK.

We reached the airport about 2, and had lunch.. we had some difficulty getting transports to fetch us to KK park which is about 2.5 hours from the airport.. nonetheless, we managed to get relatively cheap transport and reached KK park at 6pm. Our journey up was just... breathtaking. Beautiful, just something i needed, no buildings, no trains, no honking, no angry people... just the sky, clouds, clear cool air and loads of smiley people... =) We had dinner and went to bed early.

6th Oct

I woke up at 6 am, packed, had breakfast and at 7 sharp, left for the timpohon gate, all ready for my hike. The first 1 km was kinda relaxing, but after that, it was stairs all the wayyyyyyyyyyyyy.... and i thought i was ready for this!!!! CAPITAL oh M gee.

My arse has never felt so tight....... =P

But i didn't feel tired at all, was too busy drinking in the beauty of it all. The air was cool enough, and it made my hike comfortable. Kept on munching chocs for energy!!!

After hiking for about 5 hours, i reached the 6th km mark(Laban Rata) , where all of us would rest for a few hours and continue our hike up to the submit.

My legs were ok, hasn't turn into jelly yet, but i needed to rest. Just as i thought i could check in.... then i just realized i had to climb a little more to my room.................................................

AAARRRGGGGHHHHH, with all my strength i marched up and was glad, that i could rest a little.... I was drenched in rain and had to take a bath. GUESS WHAT, water heaters were not working......................................................... so i did take a bath... the water was like... a tiny mouse's tail, and i had to stand under the shower for ages to wash my hair..... by the time i finished bathing, i couldn't feel my toes or finger. I have died and rose again. Did i mention it was 10 degrees C??????????????????????????????

We had dinner at 5 and played cards till about 8pm and headed for the bed, as our climb begins at 2am. I wore 5 long sleeve shirts including a wool turtleneck on top of that i wore a windbreaker, i had 4 pants on, 3 pair of socks. I had 2 blankets, and a sleeping bag.

I WAS STILL SHIVERING!!!!! i thought i could get some rest before the morning hike, but it was too cold for me to even sleep and i had trouble breathing (asthma).

7th Oct

2 am came faster than i thought, we had breakfast and started out hike up.

We need to climb another 2.5km to reach the peak. For the first 1km, its was stairs- VERY STEEP STAIRS. ALL THE WAY. and it was getting colder as we kept on walking and walking. My legs were exhausted, and i had to breathe harder as the air was thinner as we got up.

The next 1.5 km was difficult for me, it was literally mountain climbing, we had to use ropes to pull ourselves up. I found myself stopping very frequently-very exhausting and i stared wheezing. Thank God for Alvin and Sean, they helped me a lot, they stopped and waited for me,made sure i was ok. Gruesome... really gruesome. At about 5.30 am i stopped to catch my breath, but i that the sun was coming up, so i said, i have to make it to the top before it comes out. So with all my strength from my everywhere, i hiked up and reached the peak, but i didn't get to see the sun rise!!!!!!!!!!!! its was too misty.The wind up there was furious, i was shaking like mad, trying so hard to take decent pictures.

The pic above was one of the spectacular views from above. Not only i got to see the sunrise,

i found peace within myself, and i accepted myself for being different and i am so much happier than before, all with the help from God. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength for doing this, making me see the bigger picture which i cannot fathom most of the times.

Ok enough of emo stuffs... we didnt stay for long, its was too cold.. Going down was just as difficult as going up. Only in the light i realised how steep and difficult was the climb to the peak.

We all had lunch and headed for back down, my journey back down was terrible.

It was raining like cats and dogs, i was drenched, tired, and my knees hurt like mad.. =(

I was soooo tired of feeling the pain, so i ran for the last 2 km, reached in approximately 3 hours and waited for the rest... My knees were goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... =(

We had lunch and headed off to Kota Kinabalu city..... *to be continued*