You know that moment- when grace has fallen upon you and you have achieved something that you wanted.
Today i feel a little down. I miss feeling that i could achieve anything in life. I feel life is hard, and its harder for me because i am a @#$@#$((@#& perfectionist.
I went to hike Mount KK, because i was on the verge of losing my mind, my relationship was failing, so are my studies, i feel like i don't know myself anymore. My purpose to hike up to the peak, was a way to prove to myself, that if i can do this, i can do anything, it required great motivation, physical and strong mentally capability to encourage myself to keep on track, and also help my friends who were weaker.
The moonlight hike was difficult for me, as the air gets thinner and thinner.
But when i finally reached the peaked. I felt like i wanted to cry. I felt free.I felt like... i can't describe it.
And today, i miss that feeling, i want to be free again. I don't know from what.
From my own mind?
That is what a holiday is to me, where i take time, to let go and regain my mental health to take on the world.
I really want to go for another holiday, which can make me sane again.. not that i am insane.
Free from my mind devils, and the rat race, and the things i have to see to. I wished i can do something for myself, only for me and myself.
I just returned from a holiday, but it didn't help me in the way i wanted it to be, because i wasn't searching.
I am searching now. And i will find it soon. But i am scared of going to places alone.. hahhahahah....
I have to do this, for myself. I promise photos of Thailand will be up soon!!!
I hope your day was better than mine... share with me.
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