Question Mark?

I am scared, like really scared. Today,i was sitting on my bed folding my clothes.. and i had an epiphany.

Time is really catching up and i feel exhausted almost 20 hours out of my 24 dam hours.

And life is so fragile, everything is so fragile. My heart is super fragile although it appears like i don't have a heart *first impression,surveyed, confirmed and 100% true* . My dad is fragile, my mom is fragile, my brothers are fragile, my sister is fragile. 

I don't want things to change, i want to keep them the way it is. Sometimes the more i want something, it miraculously disappears faster and it normally takes double the effort for me to get it back. Law of attraction not working here? 

I am scared that my life is going to be just they way is it now, everyday, just everyday.

I want it to be full of passion, i want my life. But i don't know where to start. What to pick.

What to do. Sometimes i really don't know what the hell am i doing... Am i the only one feeling this way. I told my friend about how i feel, and she thought that i was ungrateful, never happy with what i have. Part of me agree, but part of me totally disagreed with her opinion.

Why do i have to feel appreciative and grateful when i have no hunger for life, why do i have to be like everyone else, just be like everyone else. I don't want to be just everyone else and life their lives like robots. I want satisfaction, fulfillment, passion, i feel so much hunger for my life, and i sometimes pity others who can't see my whole through my lens... To them i am just an ungrateful person.

I fear that all my dreams are too big for me, so much things to do, so little time.

People around me are getting married, having children, some of my friends have died at such a tender age, some just waste their lives away living other people's dream and life.

I am paying so much attention to all these details. Am i crazy?

I am scared. But then again, who isn't? If you're not scared, you're not paying attention to the things and people surrounding you. 

What am i to do. Question Mark.