What Bad Day?

Yesterday i couldn't even sleep... drifting in and out of sleep. I had to cancel all my plans today because the moment i opened my eyes i was feeling numb and i had a thudding headache.

I was a having a horrible day, i was sitting in my hall, in my empty beautiful house. 

Like the house, i feel empty too.

I could hear the clock ticking, seconds just kept ticking away and with each tick the pain grew greater.

I was was disappointed, sad and angry with the things that kept happening to me.

I cried until my swollen eyes couldn't cry no more. I wish i could do something, break things. Get angry at the world. Wondered why it is so easy for everyone to keep together. Everyone seem to has the key to everything but not me. What have i been missing?

I realised that the mistake was me, i was valuing myself through my failures and obstacles... never the other way though. 

So i failed, not just once.... many many times in many many things.And through all these failures i learn, unfortunately the hard way. I am growing - a lot, but the pain is greater and more vast than the sea.

Sometimes it gets hard to breathe. Time don't heal, you heal when you let things go. I feel like i can't go on, not even one more step - not even an inch.

So i thought i was having a bad day... like as if it couldn't get any better. Like as if i were in the dumps.

Really?

What about those who are lying in the hospital dying? What about those mothers whose baby dies 2 minutes after being born... What about those who had dreams but were cut short because they died in the operation theatre? What about those who were counting their days.... here i am .... having a bad day...