Mondays are bad. The worst day of all days.. Aside from feeling blue.. I have class from 8-6 pm. Its exhausting. I don't know how my dad works like such everyday, but then again learning for so many hours is different from working. But i remember being so tired everyday when i was working to those exact working hours. Maybe its just about how much interest i have in those subjects..
But nope its not that, i don't know.. Its week 6, time flew like superman.. and its the time i have to sit for all my test and meet all my assignment due dates. I feel it. I had a small test today, i didn't do very well. I can explain why, but i did prepare for the test, just not in the way i thought it would be. I spent one week trying out all the hard questions, but the test was so basic i didn't how to make my brain to think that way. I just felt like knocking my head.. but its over..
I feel the pressure and time is always catching up, running faster than me, i am already running throughout my whole life. I am exhausted. I wished my room is Hawaii-but unfortunately its not. Its that time where i have to differentiate all my papers between subjects, find the time to study them and get an A, between all those, i have to clean my room, and change the sheets and do the laundry, and think of what to cook for my meals. and do the dishes and wash the bathroom and fold my clothes.... and then i am already a grumpy person and angry and tired..
But no, i don't get to be.. because i have to be nice in this already not nice world. Not forgetting i have to exercise to keep my fat cells from growing.. Women.. can we really have it all? the super-student, the able-to-cook-person, and the nice girl plus she's hot and be a maid at the same time? I really don't know.Now I really understand the frustration my mom is feeling all these time. Its a vicious cycle, after you're done with one, its already time for the next... capital omg. Save me.
Talk about a nervous/mental breakdown.. i need a desperately need a holiday.. its been years since i had one. And i am tired, and irritable, and emotional.. i just feel like stopping time, and i can't. I wished i took a day off, just for myself. No anything. Just to relax. Just time for yourself, and you don't wanna do the dishes or sit for hours cracking your brains or clean up the room or take out the trash...
But then again, we always have to pick up from where we stopped-the world waits for no man.
Living in a city that barely sleeps, build of concrete jungles.. everything moves so fast. Without knowing it, you're moving with them, at their pace. Sometimes i wonder what are we really chasing and why aren't we getting anything of what we're chasing?
Oh Lord, please give me wisdom to divide my time, and take my weariness away because i am really exhausted. Give me the strength to know what i am doing wrong and help me over come it. What am i chasing Lord, that is making me so tired. I should be chasing you. Forgive me Lord because i have been chasing all the wrong things in life. Lead be me back to your path.
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